last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
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the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
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My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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