a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
