This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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