Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
