On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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