Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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