i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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