I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
