It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
