Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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