doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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