So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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