Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize