Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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