I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
