So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
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hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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