she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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