Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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