have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
