Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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