I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
