i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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