I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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