Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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