well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
