how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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