Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Farmville is her only friend.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
