I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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