I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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