Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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