I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
