I smell stomach acid.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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