it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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