well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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