So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
they're like a gay fantastic four
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize