you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
