i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
