she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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