He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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