walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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