dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
