It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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