If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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