And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
