i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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