yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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