If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
