I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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