Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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