My brain says no but my pants say off.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
