just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I FOUND THE LEGS
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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