dude i'm inner monologue high
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
