Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize