I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
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