i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
